I’m really starting to believe that out of town trips with Daddy-O are jinxed!
Recently we went to Memphis for a quick supply run and to handle some business. The trip was uneventful, traffic was heavy and I totally couldn’t make the Goodman exit for Arby’s thanks to the traffic. But it was a good day none the less. I always enjoy the uninterrupted 6 hours of round trip time with my Dad.
Mid day we pull into a Tiger Mart for a much needed rest room stop. OH My God The Horror!!
That’s when it happened.. It took all my instinctual resources and female powered superior brain power to survive the FLUSH FROM HELL!
Enter the bath room a single one stall setup which is extremely clean. {Not a point to be missed considering this was a public toilet in Memphis} Quick look over the bowl, a brief spray of lysol from the shelf and yay I can finally pee. The pee pee dance was not very attractive considering I’d done the dance for the past 2 hours in Mid-town rush hour traffic.
As I slightly hover the seat and proceed to look at my fave old navy jeans pooled around my ankles it happens. The automatic flush system started when I started and it would not stop. The sucking force was almost strong enough to glue me to the seat {thank god for that lysol earlier huh}.
I think all will be okay it will complete the flush and stop the OMFG suction hold it has on my ass. Yeah not so lucky there. The toilet kept flushing one cycle after another without stopping. It was like being in a whirlpool tornado. I feared for my girly bits. Praying to all the gods and even the devil that my bits stayed firmly attached to my body.
Could you just hear the emergency room discussion? “How did you manage to have your girly bits ripped from your body? Well dear sir I need DRUGS and oh umm yeah how, well a public toilet when psycho bitch on me and wouldn’t stop flushing! Did I mention I need drugs from the pain?!”
After I manage to rip my body from this seat of death I move over to the sink. Nice clean sink in no way does this thing pose a threat. I’m relieved just rinse scrub rinse dry and I’m out of the toilet from hell room. Yeah right!
The little automatic sensor that turns on and off the water was broken. Just my luck my there I was girly bits covered in water from the near death flush and unwashed hands. Plenty of water where I didn’t want it none where I needed it. I flipped the attendant light and ran for the door. I could still hear the never ending flush from the store door as I left. Thank god it wasn’t over flowing instead but dear heavens I think I will pee before I leave the house from now on..
More Ramblings - From Futures Past
- Unconscious Mutterings - 2007
OMG- I’m dyin’ here- ROFLMAO!!! I always knew there was something sinister about those automatic flushers with their plastic Darth Vader masks. The force was certainly with you- you’re lucky you didn’t walk out of there with the seat still attached.